Parents, educators and caregivers alike are familiar with the term “terrible twos”.
The phrase often evokes images of tantrums, defiance and exasperated parents. What if we viewed “the twos” not as a period of turmoil, but as a pivotal stage of development filled with opportunities for growth and discovery? Clarissa Louw, headmistress of @Sandton Kids School, urges understanding the underlying motivations behind the “terrible twos” is crucial in effectively supporting children through this transformative stage.
Effectively navigate the terrain of the two’s
It is essential to establish clear and consistent boundaries while allowing room for exploration and autonomy. Setting limits provides children with a sense of security and structure, while also helping them understand acceptable behaviours. However, it’s equally important to offer opportunities for choice and independence whenever possible. By allowing children to make decisions within safe parameters we empower them to develop critical decision-making skills and a sense of agency over their lives.
The “terrible twos” also brings new ways of socialising; children start to interact more with peers. Providing opportunities for socialisation, such as play dates or structured activities, can help them learn important social skills such as sharing, taking turns and empathy.
Fostering open communication and validation of emotions is paramount in helping children navigate the turbulent waters of the twos, which are a challenging time for them too. Toddlers may struggle to articulate their feelings verbally, leading to frustration and outbursts. By providing a supportive environment where emotions are acknowledged and validated, we help children develop emotional intelligence and coping mechanisms for managing their feelings in healthy ways.
Additionally, creating a stimulating and enriching environment filled with opportunities for exploration and discovery can help channel toddlers’ boundless energy and curiosity in constructive ways. Providing age-appropriate activities and materials that encourage hands-on learning and experimentation not only keeps children engaged but also fosters cognitive and motor skill development.
By recognising the underlying motivations behind children’s behaviours and providing a nurturing environment that supports their autonomy and exploration parents can transform the “terrible twos” into a time of tremendous growth and opportunity for both children and caregivers alike.
Here are practical strategies parents can employ to help their children navigate temper tantrums:
It’s natural for parents to feel frustrated or overwhelmed when faced with a tantrum, but staying calm is key. Take deep breaths and try to remain composed. Your child will pick up on your emotions, so modelling calmness can help diffuse the situation.
Acknowledge your child’s emotions and let them know that it’s okay to feel upset. Use phrases like, “I see that you’re feeling frustrated” or “It’s okay to be upset”. Validating their feelings helps them feel understood and can prevent escalation.
Providing choices empowers children and can help prevent tantrums before they start. Offer options within reason, such as asking if they’d like to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt, or if they’d prefer apples or bananas for a snack.
Use distractions to redirect your child’s attention can help diffuse a tantrum. Offer a new activity or toy to shift their focus away from what was upsetting them.
Set clear expectations by establishing routines and boundaries can help reduce tantrums by providing predictability and structure. Let your child know what is expected of them and stick to consistent rules.
Offer comfort because sometimes, all a child needs, is a hug or some reassurance. Offer physical comfort and verbal reassurance to let them know you’re there for them.
Consistency is key when it comes to managing tantrums. Be consistent in your responses and consequences, so your child understands the expectations and knows what to expect.
Practise positive reinforcement: Praise your child when they handle situations well or express their emotions calmly. Positive reinforcement can encourage desired behaviours and reinforce healthy coping mechanisms.
Take a time-out if your child is having a particularly intense tantrum, it’s okay to take a break. Step away from the situation if possible and give both you and your child a chance to calm down before addressing the issue. Time-out also applies to you! Taking care of a toddler can be physically and emotionally demanding. Parents and caregivers need to prioritise self-care, whether it’s through regular breaks, engaging in hobbies or seeking support from others.
As parents embark on this journey alongside their little ones, embrace the challenges and celebrate the triumphs, they must celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, to boost their confidence and reinforce positive behaviour! This exciting time allows you to unlock the potential of the twos and pave the way for a future filled with limitless possibilities. Here’s to the Terrific Twos!
